MABEL! No more Smiley-Dip!
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: A "The Inconveniencing." AU! Tonight on a very special gravity Falls: Wendy has a secret she doesn't want to tell and it's crazy! Who'd of thought Smiley-Dip could cause so much trouble? IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!
1. Chapter 1

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip!

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Ma ghost smiled as that dipper boy began to dance his unbelievably adorable "Lamby" dance. She was a little disappointed that she and her husband wouldn't be bringing down "justice" on those monstrous teens. But a deal was a deal. Not that she was all that bothered by it this moment, this boy's dance was well worth it! Why in her day- She stopped mid thought...She had seen it.

…...

STOP EVERYTHING! Shouted Ma Ghost suddenly. Everyone froze. Pa ghost looked at her in surprise. "Sweetie what's wrong?" Asked Pa concerned. Ma pointed at a frightened Wendy. "Sweetie do you see what I see?" Confused, pa ghost uses his ghost eye's to see through the ether and see the unseen...Then he saw it too. Pa let out a disappointed sigh.

"Well, shoot...Alright, deals off; your all free to go." Said Pa as he snapped his fingers causing the lamby costume to vanish and the teens to be restored to normal. Pa gave them all a sharp glare. "Right, off with all of you. And be thankful we have a soft spot for children!" "And as for you, young lady! Chastised Ma while glaring at Wendy. What are you thinking!? Galavanting around while your with child and-"

WAIT, WHAT!

Shouted everyone at once. Ma looked confused at the outburst, then realization hit her. "Oh, you didn't know?" "No, I didn't know! Snapped Wendy outraged. Because it's not true!" Ma ghost chuckled. "Sweetie, my ghost eye's let me see many things...Including the second heartbeat that is now forming inside of you." Dipper meanwhile, was looking through his journal...and becoming increasingly more pale. "I-I'm sorry Wendy...But according to the journal it actually is within their power to-"

"Well your journal is wrong too! Snapped Wendy. This is ridiculous! I've never even slept with any-" And then she paused. And just like that her complexion went from enraged indignant red...to deathly pale. "O-oh, crap!" Whimpered a horrified Wendy. _And the penny drops. _Thought Ma ghost to herself. Suddenly both ghosts immediately began pushing everyone outside. "Well, sounds like your all going to have a lot to talk about. We'll, leave you to that! Bye!" and with that, the ghosts vanished. Leaving some very confused teens(and dipper) looking at a shell shocked Wendy...

…...

When the initial shock wore off. Naturally the first thing was asked was: "Dang it Robbie! Shouted Nate. Why didn't you tell me you and Wendy-" "Whoa! Whoa! It wasn't me!" "Well it wasn't me!" Insisted Lee. "Or me!" Shouted Nate. "And I-" "WE KNOW THOMPSON!" Dipper (while making sure Mabel was unhurt and handling her smiley-dip hangover okay) just sat their and listened intently. Needless to say he was currently feeling very conflicted...and not sure how to feel about the whole thing. Tambry turned to Wendy. "Wendy...is it true? Are you really-"

"No!...maybe...Look, I don't know!" Tambry looked at her long-time friend concerned. "Well...who's the-" "Nobody! Snapped a flustered and panicky Wendy. It doesn't matter! T-this whole thing is ridiculous! You realize that your taking the word of a couple of ghosts that were trying to kill us!? Do you realize how insane-"

"Dose this have anything to do with that time I saw you crawl out of dipper's bed naked?" Everyone turned and looked at the still drowsy Mabel like she'd grown a second head. After a couple seconds of stunned silence dipper finally asked what everyone was now thinking: "Uh...what?"

Mabel groaned but continued. "Yeah, we'd only been in gravity falls a couple of days...it was the morning after that party we threw...I had just woken up...And I saw you climbed naked out of dipper's bed while he was still sleeping there...also naked...I was having a major smiley-dip hangover...and I was tired...so I assumed it was a dream...I'd completely forgot about it until now."

It was a long, awkward silence. Then Tambry chuckled nervously. "T-that's crazy talk! Wendy wouldn't do that. She nervously looked over at Wendy. Right?" But Wendy had now gone even more pale. Dipper looked at Wendy apprehensive. "Wendy? Is it true?" asked Dipper not sure how he was supposed to think or feel right now. Wendy took a long, deep breath.

Look, at the party. Mabel dared me and dipper to eat several galleons of Smiley-dip...Eventually I blacked out...And I don't know what happened afterward...but next thing I know I'm waking up in dippers bed...I was embarrassed, so I got up got dressed before anyone woke up...and I tried to forget it ever happened...

No one said anything...Then-

"What is wrong with you! You are sick! Doing that to a kid!" Shouted an enraged Robbie. Nate and Lee had both turned green and were throwing up. Thompson was silently sending a text to Wendy saying that he didn't actually think bad of her...But he couldn't afford to publicly go against the group because he didn't want to be ostracized too. And Tambry...Tambry wouldn't even look at her. Wendy officially felt like crap. "G-guy's please I-" "Shut it! Snapped Robbie. He then turned to the group. Come on guys. Let's leave this whore with her boy toy." Not knowing what else to do...the group followed him. Wendy immediately feel to her hands and knees and started to bawl her eye's out...

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!

Everyone turned around in surprise to a very angry dipper. He hadn't known how to respond to all this...until he saw Wendy cry...that had given him all the clarity he needed. "Your friend makes one mistake. And you bail on her?! You should all be ashamed of yourselves! Besides it wasn't really her fault! It was the Smiley-dip! They banned that stuff for a reason! Besides, neither of us remember that night! How do you know it wasn't me who took advantage of her!?"

No one spoke for awhile...Then the teens started to laugh. Dipper looked at them irritated as they got into Thompson's car and drove away. _It's not that far-fetched of a possibility. _Thought an annoyed Dipper to himself. He then turned around to check on Wendy...only to find her desperately trying to keep herself from laughing too. Dipper sighed as his masculine pride took another blow. "Seriously?" Dipper asked in annoyed disbelief. "(snort) I'm sorry!(giggle) Your right!(cackle) I'm being a total jerk right now!(snort)."

After a couple minutes Wendy was able to calm herself enough to speak coherently. "Seriously, dipper. Thank you. I appreciate you defending me." Dipper blushed, then steeled himself for what he was about to say. "It was nothing Wendy...you mean a lot to me. He then took another deep breath. And I just want you to know that whatever happens...I'll be there for you...both of you." Wendy just stared at him in disbelief. She didn't know what to say. So she did the only thing she could think of...she hugged him in gratitude while she cried...

Meanwhile, Mabel groaned. "Wait, how are we getting back home?" Asked the very delirious girl.

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't. **

**But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.2

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

After they got back to the shack. The first thing they did was tell Grunkle Stan. He actually took the thing pretty well. However he did insist she take a pregnancy test first and foremost.

"Why do you have a box of high-quality pregnancy tests?" Asked dipper. "Hey, I don't put my nose into your private life!" Snapped Stan. Dipper wisely decided to drop the subject...

…...

Long story short, Wendy truly was pregnant. She started to really freak at this...Until dipper calmed her down and assured her that no matter what he'd be there for her...

…...

Of course they then had to call Manly Dan. Who immediately rushed over. Dipper braced himself for a confrontation...that never came.

"Wait, your not mad at me?" Asked a confused Dipper. "Why would I be mad at you? My daughter obviously took advantage of you(Dipper swallowed his annoyance at another blow to his ego); but I can't really be mad at her either...She's my daughter and I love her...Plus I'd be lying if I weren't a little excited to be a grandad...But really my main focus right now is concern for Wendy's future."

Stan nods. "Yeah, I hear taking care of a kid can cost over 6,000$-" "6,000!" Shouted Dipper and Wendy. Wendy groaned. "I suppose your going to make me go work at my cousin's logging camp"-

**NO!**

Shouted Manly Dan and Dipper at once. "Heavens no girl! Shouted Manly Dan. That deathtrap is a miscarriage and a half waiting to happen!" "Wait, then why'd you want me-" "That was before you were pregnant!" explained Manly Dan.

He shook his head. "No you keep working here...I'll take care of it." Said Dan darkly. Wendy looked concerned. "Dad...what are you going to do?" Dan sighed. "I'm going to go work the mines of Moria-" Wendy and Stan gasped in horror. Everyone else just looked confused.

…...

And so Stan explained about Moria. How it was a cursed hole in the ground...filled with psychotic cannibals, giant rats, flesh eating leeches, land sharks...and if the rumor's were true a hell-portal that let out the occasional Barlog or Sloar. But the pay was great!...Hazard pay even better!

Wendy was about to plead that he not go- "Is there an age limit for who works there?" Said Dipper suddenly. Everyone just stared dumbstruck. Suddenly Dan burst out laughing! "HA! HA! I like you boy! He nods at Wendy. I approve." He said flatly...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. Chapter 3

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.2

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Needless to say, dipper's announcement caused an uproar. Stan and Mabel tried to talk him out of it...But the simple fact remained that Moria was the only job around(that would allow a kid to work) that would give dipper the income he needed to support Wendy and their child. So dipper refused to relent.

Finally, Wendy who'd been quiet the whole while since Dipper declared his intent to work- "Could I talk to dipper privately?" Said Wendy suddenly. Sensing the mood everyone immediately cleared out. Wendy and dipper stared at each other...neither knowing what to say. Then Wendy took a deep breath...and began.

"Dipper; I'm grateful for you defending me, staying by me, comforting me...But I can't let you do this-" "Wendy, how else am I going to be able to provide-" "Provide!? Dipper...Look I didn't say anything earlier because everything was so messed up. And I was so happy that someone, anyone was standing by me...But you do know your under no obligation to do anything, right?"

"How can you say that! Shouted a hurt Dipper. It's my kid, isn't it?" Wendy rolled her eye's. Dipper, your 12! No one would judge you if you walked away from this! This was my mistake! I need to live with it! But at least I can make sure I don't ruin your life too!

Dipper didn't say anything for awhile. Then he took a deep breath to steel himself. "I'm still doing it." He said flatly. "Wha- Why!?" demanded Wendy. Dipper looked uncertain and uncomfortable...Then while trying to keep the fluster off his face...

he started to speak: "Okay...There are probably a dozen better ways to say it...But screw it!...I love you Wendy." He let that hang in the air a bit. Wendy just looked at him speechless...She had no idea how to feel about that. "I...Wow...Dipper-" Dipper held out his hand to stop her mid sentence.

"You don't have to say anything...I know I'm too young...and your way out of my league...That's fine, you don't have to return my feelings...But regardless, I still love you and I'm still going to help you." Wendy hadn't even realize she'd started crying...But she was.

"Why?" She asked confused. Ironically, seeing her cry again once more gave dipper the strength and clarity to head forward.

"Look. I know that no matter how much I try to pretend otherwise...I'm just a kid. Said dipper in resignation. A kid who knows nothing about life, relationships, or love...But the idea of "standing by those you love no matter what"...although just another cheesy cliché(dipper smiled as that comment made Wendy giggle)...has always appealed to me...And that's just what I'm going to do.

I'm going to standby and protect both you and our child...no matter what." Not knowing what to say...a tearful Wendy just stood there silently...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Yes, I know Wendy knew about dipper's feelings for a long while. But remember this is early in the series! So just roll with me!**

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	4. Chapter 4

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.4

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

And so Dipper went to work in Moria...And it was every bit the nightmare people told him. He almost died 10 times! In the first hour!

Thankfully, Dan was now working there too; and more than willing to help him out.

The job burned down to this: An eccentric billionaire considers the mines as part of his cultural heritage and was willing to pay top dollar to anyone who salvages any of it's lost treasure, mine it's precious resources, or clear out the creatures inside.

Fortunately, dipper wasn't completely helpless. He had the journal! He desperately squeezed it for every resource he could get! Like the shrinking stone to shrink beasts. Or the teeth of truth; which when dipped in a certain potion can be used to make cannibals tell you were their secret stashes are once bitten. Or using the cryptogram sketches to solve ancient puzzles.

Still...it was exhausting...and painful! Dipper was pretty sure he was stabbed by a lost tribe of Nazi's at one point!...that or the fumes from the underground sulfuric acid rain clouds were starting to get to him...either way he was probably going to die soon...

…...a couple days later...

Dipper groaned as he struggled to keep his aching body awake inside Greasy's diner. He tried to focus on the fact that Wendy was going to come by soon...and not the fact that he had to stab his way out of a land sharks belly...again.

Lazy Susan walked up to the table. "What'll it be Mr. pines? Another split-plate special?" Stan looked uncertain for a moment then smiled. "Nope, the full pancake special for dipper-

**GASP!**

The whole diner looked on in shock. Stan pines...paying full price?...more then a few patrons started to look for signs of four certain Horsemen. Dipper too was shocked!

"G-grunkle Stan? Really?" Stan smiled. "You've earned it, kid." Mabel smiled. "You really have." Mabel couldn't help but remember when she, Stan, and Dan eavesdroped on dipper's confession.

Mabel cried, Dan air-fist thumped in silence, and Stan tried to conceal his crying with self-muttered excuses...it was a long, intense night...but in a good way!

Lazy Susan meanwhile; regained her composure. "uh...okay...and for you two? "Me and the lady will split a plate of ketchup." Said Stan much to the relief of the patrons.

The plate was barely on the table before dipper started shoveling it in. Hang manners! Nothing was going to distract him from getting fed...except hearing Wendy shout.

…...

"-What do you mean I'm not allowed here anymore!" Snapped Wendy at Susan. Susan shrugged. "Sorry sweetie, I'm on thin ice with the health inspector...having your type here will be the last straw." "My type!?" Shouted an outraged and confused Wendy.

What's going on here!? Demanded dipper as he walked up to the entrance. Susan shrugged. "I'm not too sure...but apparently she's on this list...and now she's bad for business."

"Wha? What list!? Show it to me!" It was to both dipper and Wendy's horror when Susan whipped out the Sexual predator list...with Wendy's name on it! Wendy turned deathly pale and started to cry.

Dipper calmly turned to Stan. "To the police station, now." Said dipper in a creepily calm manner. Stan was actually scared to say no(not that he'd ever tell anyone)!

…...

"-Sorry kid, she should have thought of this before she raped a little boy!" Said chief Blubs flatly. Dipper, and the rest of the mystery shack gang just glared.

"I was that boy! And I don't care! Snapped Dipper. Look, I'll sign whatever needs to be signed...Just get her off that list!" Blubs shook his head. "Sorry boy, it's not you that needs to sign. It's your parents."

Dipper paled...needless to say no one had told his parents yet...and he was pretty sure they wouldn't be very understanding. Dipper groaned.

"Okay, you know what? I raped her! There! I confess! Put me on the list! Just take her off!"

The gang's gasps of disbelief and amazement of dipper declaration was interrupted by Blubs thundering laughter. "You raped miss lumberjack here?" Said Blubs incredulously.

"Boy, even if I believed that- Which I don't! No court in the world is going to believe a little city boy like you took **her** down! Why, you barely reach her chest!" Teased Blubs.

Dipper growled. _Unbelievable...No matter what I do people still see me as a little boy! A weakling! A wimp! A victim!...wait..._

Dipper smiled. "You know what blubs? Your right! I am just a little boy."

**CRASH!**

Everyone could only gape and shock as dipper suddenly smashed his head against the desk with a sickening crunch. Dipper lifted his head to reveal a swollen black eye and a messed up, broken nose.

"A little boy you just violently assaulted! And these guy's are witnesses!" Said dipper as he frantically gestured to the gang. After a moments confusion; they got it, and were quick to say they'd back his story up. Blubs paled, then sighed. "What are your demands?" He said flatly.

…...

And so Wendy was removed from the list and there were to be plans of much rejoicing that night! As dipper was triumphantly carried to the shack by the gang. Wendy hung back and watched Dipper with amazement. _Wow...he really loves me..._

Thought the now very conflicted and confused girl...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: The Eavesdroping bit was recommended by "The Keeper of Worlds"**

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	5. Chapter 5

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.5

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Dipper groaned as he once more entered dragged himself into the mystery shack. "Before anyone asks; yes I'm well aware there's a giant leech on my back...since I used up...the last...blood...getting here...need...help..."

Stan didn't even sigh, this sort of thing was basicly routine now. He didn't even have to ask Mabel to drag him to the kitchen. She was already doing that. He grabbed his already prepared med-kit and followed her.

Meanwhile, Wendy watched the whole thing while she absentmindedly wrote. Then she saw what she wrote:

**I am pretending to write something down**

She groaned. _Great, now I'm doing it! _Thought the increasingly conflicted teen girl. She slumped down and once more thought about the source of her confusion: Dipper.

Here was a guy who had literally gone out on a limb for her...risked his life for her on a daily basis. And asked nothing in return! How was she supposed...How was she even supposed to begin to comprehend how to feel about that?

Suddenly a familiar face came into the shack. Once more Wendy was conflicted. On the one hand the person was another reminder of another good thing dipper had done for her lately(making her even more conflicted)...On the other hand it was just great to see Tambry...

…..a couple days ago...

Tambry was texting as usual-

**SLAP!**

Tambry watched shocked as her phone was smacked from her hand and shattered on the ground. She turned toward the person angry. "Hey, what's the big id-" She paused and paled. She was looking at dipper pines...and he was pissed!

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" Snapped Dipper. Tambry just looked at him in shock; seeing a 12 year old with a face that scary...was somehow even more scary then a hundred homicidal ghosts!

"I-I...What are you-?" Asked a confused Tambry trying to regain her composure. "You put what was happening to Wendy on your blog!" Tambry looked at him confused wondering where this was going.

"Uh, yeah? Said Tambry nonchalantly. I blog everything that happens to me; it's sorta second nature to me at this poi-"

**SMACK!**

Tambry fell down to her knees as dipper knocked the wind out of her. She desperately tried to catch her breath. She looked at dipper bewildered. "What was-"

**CRACK!**

"Shut up!" Snapped Dipper as he punched her.

**WHACK!**

Do you have any idea-

**SMACK!**

-How much Wendy cried-

**CRACK!**

-When Soos tracked it-

**WHACK!**

-back to you!

**SMACK!**

"She was your best friend! How could you do this to her!?" Demanded dipper as he took a break to pin the battered girl to the ground. Tambry whimpered in pain.

She paused only long enough to spit out blood and teeth shards before gasping: "I-I Have no idea what your talking about!" Pleaded a terrified Tambry honestly.

"Your stupid blog was read by everyone! Barked Dipper. You've turned the whole town against her! She ended up on the Sexual predator list because of you!"

Tambry gaped in horror. "I- predator list- Is she okay?" Asked Tambry concerned. Dipper snorted. "Like you care! You left her high in dry when she needed you the most!"

"It wasn't like that! Implored Tambry starting to cry. I-I...Look I was disgusted and weirded out by the whole thing...But I realized I was being a jerk later on-" "Oh, and this was your idea to make amends was it!?" snapped an irritated Dipper sarcastically.

"N-no...Look your right! I did leave her high and dry! I knew it! And I was ashamed of it! How could I face her after that!? I was upset! So I vented on my blog! That's all it was! Harmless vent-

**CRACK!**

Tambry whimpered again as dipper kicked her so hard in the crotch it started her period right then in there. Despite the situation Dipper couldn't help but laugh. You are such an idiot; you know that right?

**CRASH!**

Tambry watched helplessly as Dipper shattered a nearby glass bottle and held the broken top part close to her face.

"I don't want to risk killing you...that would only upset Wendy more...But once your recovered and cleaned up; you will go find Wendy and apologize...she really needs you."

Tambry nodded as dipper helped her up. All the while he still held the broken bottle close by...it's unspoken threat loud and clear...

…...NOW...

Wendy knew she should be more upset about the brutal beatings dipper gave Tambry...But between all the stuff he'd done for her lately, some miner anger she still had at Tambry, the hilarity of her getting beaten up by a little kid, and her own confused feelings toward dipper...she just couldn't.

Besides, it worked out! Tambry and her patched things up...there was still some issues between them...But right now she was just glad to have her oldest friend back!

"So, you kissed dipper yet?" Asked Tambry Cheekily. _On the other hand friendship might just be overrated._ Thought an irritated Wendy...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	6. Chapter 6

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.6

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

-"Relax, I'm kidding!" Assured Tambry. "Seriously, how are you doing today?" Wendy smiled. And the two girls chatted like they used to...

…...

They'd only been talking for a little while before Dipper came back into the room. He groaned as he walked up to his room. Wendy quickly shouted: "Hey Dipper you feeling...you know? Better?" She asked awkwardly.

Tambry raised an eyebrow at her friends odd behavior. Dipper shrugged. "A little, I'd like to get some sleep now...the foreman's offering a double shift to anyone willing to muck out the poison sea urchin cove-"

"Why not stay here with me!?" Shouted Wendy suddenly. She flustered as she cursed inwardly. _What is wrong with you!? Your better then this! _Fortunately for her, Dipper was too tired to read too much into it.

"No, no(yawn) I-I-we need all the- all the money...get." He then keels over onto the stairs fast asleep. Mabel quickly walked over; picked him up and helped him up the stairs. Wendy shook her head.

"Tie him to the bed, I don't care what he says; he's in no condition to work any more today!" Mabel nodded. Wendy sighed as she sat back down...And sees a smirking Tambry. Who, unfortunately for her; isn't too tired to read a lot into it.

"What?" Asks Wendy. Tambry chuckled. "You like him." Every instinct in Wendy's body urged her to rise to that. Wendy then told those instincts to grow up as she slumped down and sighed.

"I don't know...Maybe?" Tambry, expecting a flustered, angry retort; was completely thrown by this. Wendy used this to continue unabated.

"It's weird; I'm not physically attracted to him...But...I don't know...I guess maybe there's something...I just don't know! I'd like to talk to him about it...but he's dealing with so much crap already-"

"And that's another thing! He's done all this stuff for me...And what have I done!? Lounge my lazy, pregnant butt here while my best friend risks life and limb for me; that's what!" She screams out in pent up frustration.

Finally grabbing onto something she could help with; Tambry jumps into the conversation. "So just do something nice for him...Like breakfast in bed!" Wendy though about that and nodded. "Yeah, I'll do that-"

…**...**

Wendy burst into the room with the breakfast tray. "Surprise! Dip-"

**GAAAHHHHHH!**

Wendy and dipper cried out in horror. For Wendy had the unbelievable misfortune to enter the room while Dipper...Was in between outfits.

This on it's own might not have been so bad if what Wendy saw hadn't immediately made her laugh. She dropped the tray to cover her mouth...But the damage was clearly already done. Wendy about-faced and ran out of the room.

She slamms the door and slinked against the door cursing herself. "Smooth Wendy, real smooth." She says out loud. "Repay the boy you care about by laughing at his impossibly tiny genitals, and-"

"Uh, the doors not soundproof." Says an increasingly mortified Dipper from behind the door.

Wendy cursed and slaps herself. _Idiot! Why would you ever say that out loud!?_

…_..._

"Yikes." Says a horrified Tambry. She thinks for a second. "Okay, maybe just do something simple...like get him candy!"

…...

CLEAR! Shouted the doctor as they defibrillated Dipper who had suffered a violent allergic reaction from the candy Wendy had given him...

…...

Flowers! Can't go wrong with flowers!

…...

Dipper screamed as he was chased by a swarm of bee's...while trying to not swallow his tongue from the allergic reaction to the flowers...

…...

"No, no...Oh! Hey-" SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Snapped Wendy! SHUT UP! Continued Mabel And Soos as they joined the conversation. "

Hey, don't put this on me! They were all valid suggestions! How's it my fault that Wendy has had such bad luck? Wendy groans.

"Your right...I'm sorry...I just don't know what to do."

"I have an idea." Announces Stan. "But are you desperate enough to hear it and not hit me for saying it?" Wendy groaned, she just knew she was going to regret this. "I'm desperate enough to listen, and we can have Soos tie me down."

…...

_This is actually pretty nice. _Thought Wendy currently dressed only in a bikini cuddled up to a sleeping, fully-clothed Dipper...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	7. Chapter 7

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.7

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Dipper sighed as he relaxed with Wendy at the ticket booth. He was in fairly high spirits! He didn't really know what was happening between him and Wendy...But he was liking it!

Also, that weird photo-copy he'd found was really going to help him out at work! He might just have them do all the work every so often, so he could relax!

As he and Wendy talked and laughed...It just felt right...Like -Like he really-

**SMASH!**

Dipper gaped in horror as Wendy was hit in the head with a glass bottle. She cried out in pain as it shattered and she fell to the ground crying!

"Ha! Take that you cheating Whore!" Shouted a surly but familiar voice. Dipper turned to see a very drunken and tipsy Robbie. He saw Dipper glare and laughed.

"Yeah, I hit your bitch! What are you going to do about it little man!?" He mocked. Dipper didn't say anything, he just calmly walked up to him.

Robbie sneered at the boy who wasn't even half his size. He cackled. "Oh, is the baby mad that I broke his sex toy? You want to hit me with your girly, little-"

**CHOMP!**

Robbie paused in incredulous shock; Then he screamed bloody murder as the pain of Dipper biting down on his genitals finally reached his brain-

**RIP!**

Robbie screamed louder as dipper ripped off everything with one mighty yank and spat the bloody pulp into Robbie's sniveling face.

He then kicked him in his now "empty sack" for good measure, causing the guy to flop on the ground in agony. It was then Dipper noticed his audience.

All several dozen of Dippers clones had heard Wendy's cry and rushed to her aid as fast as they were able. Half of them were now patching her up and getting her medical attention. The other half...were now crowding around Robbie.

Dipper Prime snapped his fingers and every clone there fell on him like piranha. There was so much blood that many of the clones dissolved. But they didn't care. Wendy had been hurt! That was all that mattered.

After several minutes they dragged his naked, limbless, lacerated(yet somehow still alive) body and rolled it until they found a hospital and left him hung on the door. After Wendy was fixed up(thankfully it wasn't anything too serious), she went back to the ticket booth. Were a blood soaked Dipper calmly waited.

After a couple awkward minutes they began talking cheerfully again like nothing had happened...

…...

Little did Dipper know; that a girl named Pacifica saw the whole thing. She was so unnerved and terrified that she immediately forfeited her contest against Mabel When she learned who her brother was...The sight of that boys mangled body haunted her nightmares for weeks...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	8. Chapter 8

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.8

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Pacifica looked at the silly girl with the nacho earnings...Ordinarily she'd be mocking such a person...But **he** was here. The boy who haunted her dreams and made her wake up screaming every nigh.

And this was her sister! So, with self-preservation dominating everything else. She did something, that no northwest had ever done! "Hey there Mabel! Why don't you show us how it's done!?"

She was nice to a person she deemed inferior! And invited her to steal the show! Out of the corner of her eye she saw the shocked looks of confusion and indignation on her parents faces.

But she shrugged it off, she'll take their displeasure over that maniac any day. Besides, how much trouble could one weird girl be?

…**...5 minutes later...**

"You sure you don't want me to pay for the damages?" Asked A repentant Mabel. Pacifica's eye twitched. But she still managed a stepford smile.

"Hey! Don't worry about it! Accidents happen!" "But I ruined your dress!" Exclaimed a confused Mabel in disbelief as she points out her utterly destroyed custom-made designer clothes. She then points out everything else.

How she smashed the statue of her ancestor to pieces...on her limo...which was also totaled. Or how she somehow ruined and banned forever pioneer day. How she accidentally humiliated Pacifica and destroyed her reputation and popularity.

How she accidentally shoved a frying pan up pacifica's- "ALRIGHT! I GET IT! I WAS THERE! YOU DON'T HAVE TO REMIND ME!" Pacifica quickly slapped her hands over her own mouth. "Er...I mean...What's a few mishaps between friends?"

"Were friends!?" Exclaimed Mabel excitedly. Pacifica could feel several ulcers beginning to form in her belly...But she pressed on. "Sure." She said through gritted teeth. Mabel gave her a great big hug and dragged her away for other "joyous friendship activities!" Pacifica wept...

Meanwhile, Dipper was flipping through the journal for references on the Northwests...

…**...5 Hours later... **

Dipper salutes Trembly. "Thanks for the skeleton Key, sir!" Trembly chuckled. "No, thank you for getting me out of that peanut brittle! Trembly Away!" He shouted as he rode backward off a cliff.

Dipper shook his head in disbelief as he went to find pacifica. He saw a bald girl and walked to her. "Excuse me-" GAAAHHHHHH! Screamed the girl; who Dipper now realized was Pacifica!

"Pacifica!? What happened to your-" "It was either the stress of hanging with your sister, or her "Extreme hair Bungee". But either way I'm bald now!" Snapped a now tearful Pacifica!

"Oh...Sorry to hear that...Anyway I'd like to give you this." He said as he gave her the document about her ancestor. She quickly grabs it and reads it. Dipper is about to speak-

"Alright, here!" She snaps suddenly as she throws a large wad of cash at him. "That's all the money I have on me!" Dipper looks at the several hundred thousand dollars confused for a few minutes...before pocketing it. "Uh...Thank you?" Said a confused Dipper.

Pacifica smiled. She knew extortion when she saw it. She paid for one of the no doubt many copies he had. He'd be quiet for now; but she needed to work fast if she was to maintain her good family nam-

And that's when what she was doing caught up to her. _Wait, what the hell am I doing? _Thought Pacifica incredulously. _Who the slag cares about family honor?! I could be ripped to pieces by this maniac soon! _It was then she came to a decision.

"You know what? Forget it! I'm not going to let "this"." She gestures at the document. "Control me!" She summons her butler. "Take this Document and have it posted on every form of media! NOW!" She snaps.

As the butler leaves. Pacifica felt empowered. She just destroyed her families reputation...And she loved it! After all, if she was going to die soon...Who gave a F*** about anything anymore!? In fact-

**RIP!**

"From now on, I'm in charge of my own destiny!" She shouted as she tore off the few remaining rags of her clothes(which she never liked, but her parents made her wear). And walked home(making sure to avoid Dipper as she was still terrified of him).

A flustered Dipper watched her leave confused...

_Huh, I came to give her that document so she could destroy it, as my way of thanking her for putting up with Mabel's nonsense...And she rewards me and publishes the truth despite how much it'll ruin her family's image...Huh, I don't know why people bad mouth her. That Pacifica is a nice girl..._

Thought Dipper as he walked home.

…_..._

After her adrenaline puffed out. Pacifica realized that tearing off what your wearing in the middle of town wasn't the best of plans. _What was I thinking!? _She thought while hiding inside a barrel...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	9. Chapter 9

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.9

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Wendy was having a great day at the fair! True there was a slight bump in the road...or at leas there had been anyway. Wendy giggles to herself.

Only in gravity falls would a time traveler appear the same day Dipper wanted to fix a mistake! It had taken some trial and error(Apparently that ball had really wanted to hit her).

But eventually Dipper had surprised her with a time line where she didn't get hurt and also he won the stuffed animal. Complete with video recording of her getting hit to prove he wasn't making it up.

It was just a good day all around! Dipper had a good day off. Mabel got a pig. And she got a cute stuffed animal! A happy ending all around!

…...

A bloodied Pacifica wept in her room grounded. Her parents had reminded her why she should be afraid of them! Now she didn't know who to be more afraid of! The boy or them!...

…...

"But I'm telling you! The boy took it! Shouted Blendin. He gestated a clone army that beat me up and chloroformed me!" But his cries fell on deaf ears as he was arrested for losing his Time-measure in the past...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	10. Chapter 10

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.10

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

**AN: There seems to have been some confusion in the last chapter: **

**Pacifica wasn't at the fair at all! She was grounded! Hope that clears things up!**

…...

**NONE SHALL PASS! **

Screamed the Temple Guardian. A golem like beast made of stone and dark magic. Dipper 27 didn't look impressed. "Rumble!" He shouted.

**SUPER POWER NINJA TURBO NEO ULTRA HYPER MEGA MULTI ALPHA META EXTRA UBER PREFIX... COMBO!**

Dipper 27 thanked Rumble as he walked over the guardians remains to claim the **royal scepter**. Dipper Prime was having the day off with Wendy, leaving the clones to do the work. Which they were okay with.

They knew they couldn't live long in such a wet world. And really helping Dipper be with Wendy was helping her be with all of them!...Sorta.

Dipper 27 walked by Dipper's 87-120 giving up their lives in the eastern corridor so Dipper 51 could figure out where all the traps are so he could disable them and snatch an **ancient tome. **

Dipper 27 handed in the scepter to the bookkeeper who made a note of it. Dipper 27 also handed in the guardians heart as proof he killed it, this also was noted.

At the end of the day all hours, items, monsters, and discoveries would be tallied, totaled and handed over to Dipper in the form of a paycheck.

And ever since they discovered that "Cheat Code" that brings arcade characters back to life; they'd been destroying Temple guardians left and right! YEP! Everything was coming up Dipper!

…...

From the depths of Moria. An ancient entity began to stir...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Would anyone like to suggest a boss monster or dungeon challenge? That's what I want to do next chapter! Original or not, lay it on me!**

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	11. Chapter 11

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.11

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Iknik Blackstone Varrick: Eccentric Zillionare, part-time Mad scientist, husband to the Beautiful Zhu Li, and proud owner of the Mine of Moria. Was off to greet his miners...And what better way to do it then by showing off his newly mastered levitation ability!

**Attention Workers!**

He shouted through his megaphone.

**It's the Summer Solstice again!**

**And you know what that means!**

The Miners groaned.

**That's right! It means the Inner Sanctum of "Smaug the Calamity", King of the dragons himself will open itself for 24 hours!**

**And as always, for the man who can slay the beast and allow me to reap it's treasure horde, will not only get a weeks max-paid vacation, but 10% of the horde!**

Varrick wished he could say he was surprised that no one volunteered(again)...But he wasn't-

"I'll do it!"

Now that did surprise him!

All the other miners stared in disbelief not only that someone excepted this suicide mission...But it was none other than that 12 year old little go-getter to boot!

"I(Gag!) Will(barf!) Also(wheeze)-" Wretched Manly Dan as he tried to stand.

Dipper shook his head. "No, your in no condition to do anything...The doctors say it's a miracle your even breathing!"

Dan cursed. He knew the boy was right. Darn it! Of all the weeks for him to except a rylock venom drinking contest! Curse his masculine pride!

Dipper barely listened as Varrick congratulated him. His thoughts were focused soley on the note that was in his pocket:

**BRING ME THE HEART Of SMAUG**

**OR YOU'LL NEVER SEE YOUR GIRL AGAIN**

**SINCERELY, The SUMMERWEEN TRICKSTER...**

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**What? I like Varrick!**

**The boss idea was given by "howling Behemoth."**

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	12. Chapter 12

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.12

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

The gateway to Smaug's inner sanctum was a difficult, irritating obstacle. Putting aside the fact the door only appeared one day a year; the door itself was almost impossible to open.

The 100 keys were scattered in the Negative Zone Maze. A fiendish labyrinth filled with traps that induce fear and primal actions.

Don't even get us started on the puzzle that needed to be solved on the door before you were even allowed to search the door for the impossible to find keyholes!

The time limit usually expired before a person even figured out how to get in the maze, never mind find even one key!

Yep, traditionally. This task was impossible.

**BOOM! **

Good thing Dipper isn't a traditional kind of guy.

Dipper nodded as C-4 blew down the walls surrounding the door. As he suspected the door might have been indestructible, but the walls around it was simple bedrock.

"All right guys! Have at it!" The hundreds of clones nodded as they attached their hooks to the door and began to pull. Soon the door came down.

"Alright guys! Like we planned! Zerg rush!" Shouted Dipper as the hundreds of clones picked up make-shift weapons and charged inside.

Smaug was stupefied. One second he was napping peacefully, the next these ants were swarming all over him- And now he was blind! Within seconds of opening his eyes a dozen sharp things punctured each one!

Smaug roared as he spewed out a torrent of flames. However, the clones only being susceptible to water had nothing to fear from the flames...Or so they had assumed.

**GAAAHHHHHH!**

Screamed many clones as they turned to ash. It would soon be added to the journal that water was merely the only **Non**-magical means to kill them...But magic had many more options...Like Dragon fire.

Dipper was not deterred though. He'd brought the copying machine to constantly spawn more reinforcements. For every one clone killed a dozen would take it's place.

The next time Smaug opened his mouth, he suddenly found it full of clones ripping out his uvula and cutting out his tongue. He burnt and chewed them all, only to have to do it again the next time he had to open his mouth. And so on...

One lucky clone happened upon a small, almost unnoticeable portion of dragon flesh that was not covered by a scale. And he immediately stabbed it, he just as quickly screamed as he was enveloped in a gusher of golden blood.

Seeing this, many more clones rushed to pick at and slash at this wound; they were then disintegrated by free flowing black blood. They were quickly replaced however; and bit by bit Smaug's hide was ripped off.

…...

This went on for several hours; until finally: **GAAAHHHHHH! YOUR NOT THE GOOD GUY IN THIS! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU!? IT'S BEEN OVER A THOUSAND YEARS SINCE I PARTOOK OF HUMAN FLESH! I WAS LITERALLY DOING NOTHING BUT SLEEPING WHEN YOU BROKE INTO MY HOME TO KILL ME, HARVEST MY BODY PARTS, AND STEAL MY STUFF! HOW IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM DOSE THAT SOUND LIKE THE ACT OF A HERO!?**

And with that final death rattle...Smaug fell down dead.

Although slightly disconcerted by the ethical implications of that last statement...They didn't dwell on it. Not when Wendy's life was on the line.

Not wasting any time, the clones worked to extract his heart...

…...Later at the Tricksters hideout...

**BANG!**

Dipper smashed down the door. "Alright Trickster! I got the heart! Now let Wendy-"

Then he saw the room. Lying on a big pile of the tricksters clothes wearing his hat was a now very plump, exhausted Wendy.

Apparently, after being eaten by the trickster. Wendy was quick to realize that the guy was made of candy(lousy candy, but candy nonetheless).

So she waited for him to sleep, and then began to eat him from the inside out.

Dipper was a little miffed that he'd gone through all that for nothing, but was just happy that she was okay. It didn't hurt that Wendy was quick to show her "gratitude"...

…...

Meanwhile, back at the cave. A figure drags himself out of a puddle of golden dragon blood.

The Dipper clone that had found Smaug's vulnerability, coughed up several ounces of the dragons blood. He then looked down on himself confused.

_Okay...Why didn't that dissolve me? _Thought the confused clone...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**The Dungeon idea was given by "The Keeper of Worlds."**

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	13. Chapter 13

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.13

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

The clone wasn't the only one surprised by his survival, everyone else was too.

A quick investigation showed that the vein he hit was the dragons immortality vein. Which contained the blood that allowed a dragon to live forever.

According to the journal if it hit a human within the first five minutes of it being spilled; it would make that person's skin indestructible. And between dippers small size and Smaug's large size; he was completely soaked from head to toe.

Every inch of his skin was indestructible(unlike a certain Achilles). He also swallowed a lot of it, which affected his insides.

However, a quick study showed that this gift had it's limits.

True it made a persons skin unbreakable and dense. But powerful enough blows(T-Rex head-but level; but let's face it in gravity falls is more than probable) could still damage him internally. For swallowing the blood had diluted it, thus only having the effect of allowing him to drink liquids.

So if he were thrown in a furnace of great intensity long enough it could bake his insides(only real fire though,magic fire seems to have no effect).

It also made his skin so heavy that he would always sink to the bottom of any body of water. Which is bad because even though water won't dissolve him anymore, he still needs air.

The now indestructible clone names himself Tyrone(much to Dipper's discomfort) and moves in with the Pines. He's excited about no longer dying at the drop of a water and is ready to take his new life by the horns!

…...

_This wasn't what I meant!_

Thought Tyrone to himself as he allowed himself to be gouged by the manitour to allow Dipper the opportunity to steal it's loot...

…_..._

Tyrone cried out in agony as the giant flying head chewed him up, while dipper took the opportunity to copy a cryptogram that might lead him to more treasure...

…...

Tyrone whimpered as he curled into a fetal position...The Hide-Behind...was a very traumatic creature...

…...

Deep inside a pit filled with amber covered Dinosaurs...Tyrone sighed. "Let me guess, I'm about to be headbutted by a T-rex? Right?"

He is then instead violently attacked by a pack of raptors, while Dipper makes his getaway...

…**...5 hours of being mauled later...**

Tyrone has had it! He'd only been alive a week and Dipper treated him like a servant at best! That jerk left him to die! Repeatedly! Well he was going to fix his wagon!

Thought a battered, half-crazed Tyrone as he grasped a crowbar peeked through a door and saw Dipper was alone. He opens it, crowbar at ready.

Only to see he isn't alone, Wendy's there! She congratulates him on all the hard work he's done lately and kisses him. The rage has left Tyrone now, he quietly leaves them...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	14. Chapter 14

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.14

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…_..._

_Letting him have Wendy was a lot easier when I didn't have to live with it..._

Thought a dejected Tyrone. No matter how he looked at it, he couldn't kill Dipper. That would make Wendy cry, and despite the circumstances that is one thing he'd never stoop to.

And he'd watched enough movies to know that the whole "take over his life shtick" is doomed to failure.

Besides, after he calmed down and thought about it. He realized that if the situation were reversed, he'd do the same thing that Dipper was doing. After seeing himself get killed so many times, how could he not put himself at an emotional distance? It would literally be either that or go nuts whenever a clone got killed!

Tyrone sighed as he organized the treasures that Dipper had found recently.

Of course that made sense only when the clones were still vulnerable to water...Which he wasn't!

Tyrone shook his head. Oh, what did it matter? That wasn't the main reason he was mad anyway.

Really...He wondered what he wanted to do with himself. He really did want to help out Wendy, but was that healthy? Considering she was with Dipper? And his feelings for her?...Or Dippers feelings for her?…..._Their _feelings for her?...The feelings that _used _to be Dippers but then got transferred to-

GAH! This was too confusing! And what about himself? He called himself Tyrone...But aside from that and the whole immortality thing...how was he not a cheap knockoff of Dipper? What was he-

**Knock Knock**

Tyrone sighed as he pocketed the Truth stone he'd been organizing and headed for the door. And was surprised to find Pacifica there! She wore sunglasses and a trench coat.

Tyrone couldn't help but stare. He'd been cloned after the Pioneer day fiasco. So the memory of Pacifica's naked body was burnt into his mind.

Dipper had desperately tried not think about it, what with Wendy and everything...Tyrone smiled...But he wasn't under that restriction was he?

But just as quickly as that thought came to him, Tyrone reconsidered...it really wouldn't be decent would it? Dipper would never-

At that point Tyrone's blood boiled.

_Frak Dipper! _Tyrone shouted in his mind. _Frak him! Frak what he'd do! And frak being a gentleman! I'm my own person! And it's high time I started acting like it!_

And so while Pacifica explained about her families ghost problem, Tyrone mentally undressed her in his mind(there's no way she's 12, she's a fox!).

Pacifica knowing Dippers knowledge of the supernatural had apparently recommended him to her family. And knowing about the clones(having witnessed them mutilate Robbie), she asked if he could bring out Dipper.

Tyrone out of habit went to do just that...Then he stopped.

"You know what? Forget Dipper! I can help you! I'm just as good as he is! No, strike that. I'm better! Not only do I have all his skills and memories but-

**SLASH!**

**CRACK!**

-I'm invincible!" Shouted Tyrone, as he showed off the broken knife he'd just used to stab himself.

Pacifica paled in shock...But eventually nodded and started to lead him toward her house.

Tyrone briefly considered going back to get the journal. But he brushed that thought off. That's something Dipper would do. **And he wasn't Dipper! **And tonight he'd prove that!...Actually maybe he already did! Tyrone smirked. Last he checked Dipper never impressed a girl so much she was speechless!...

Meanwhile, Pacifica shivered in fright. _An invincible version of that maniac?...It's official...the universe hates me!_

Thought a tearful Pacifica as she briefly considered slitting her throat and putting an end to her miserable excuse for a life...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	15. Chapter 15

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.15

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…_..._

They'd only been walking for an hour before Tyrone remembered that he still had the Truth stone in his pocket. He takes it out and feels it's compulsive power surge into his body.

At that moment Pacifica asked: "Before we get to the mansion is there anything you'd like to do?"

Before Tyrone could drop the stone, the compulsion made him say-

"I want to ****** you!" Both kids looked at each other in horror.

Tyrone turned scarlet. "Uh...that is...what I mean-"

"Okay."

Tyrone did a double take. "Wait, what?"

Pacifica nodded. "Yeah, I think I see barn up ahead. We can do this there...Let's get this over with." Said the girl in resigned submission.

Tyrone just stared flabbergasted. _Okay...something is definitely screwy here, I should investi- Wait, what am I thinking? Investigate? That's what Dipper would do! He'd over-think, over-analyze, and over-complicate the most simplest of things!_

_Well nuts to that! This girl has given her willing consent! That's good enough for me! You hear that Dipper!? I'm my own person! My own man! And this man's getting laid! Woo-hoo!_

Tyrone whistles a merry tune as he follows Pacifica...Who's having a very different train of thought...

The terrified girl was quivering in fright. _Just do what this monster wants Pacifica...It'll be worse for you if you resist...It's always worse for you when you resist..._

Pacifica flinched as painful memories popped up from the last time she resisted "someone"-

_This'll teach you to ruin our good name! You little brat!_

Years of practice kept Pacifica from crying...crying only made things worse-

_Crying is beneath our family! I'll give you something to cry about!_

It was a resigned, broken Pacifica that lead a still obliviously happy Tyrone into the pitch-black barn...and start removing her clothes...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	16. Chapter 16

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.16

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…_..._

Tyrone felt terrible! All the stamina and strength he'd(and dipper) acquired throughout his adventures had allowed him to ravish Pacifica for hours! Things had been great!

Then a car had driven by briefly illuminating the barn. What Dipper saw shocked him to his core.

What he saw was not the beautifully nubile body in his memories. But instead a version of it that was broken, battered and bruised.

Pacifica saw that he saw and tried to flee. But Tyrone was faster and stronger. So soon he'd quickly pinned her down!

"What happened to you?!" Demanded a horrified and concerned Tyrone.

"Nothing!" Shouted Pacifica. "I-I...ran into a door?" She offered weakly.

Tyrone's eye's widened. He'd heard that in enough drama's to know what it really meant.

"Are you being abused?" Asked Tyrone intensely. Pacifica shivered, her eyes suddenly full of tears.

"Tell me!" Shouted Tyrone.

"Okay! I'll talk! Just don't kill me!" Screamed a fearful Pacifica.

It was a horrified Tyrone that jumped away as if struck. Me? Kill you? Why would you-"

But Pacifica was already talking. Everything she'd kept bottled up the past several weeks now came pouring out!

She admitted to seeing Robbie beaten. Of being terrified of him! Of the real reason she'd put up with Mabel! But mainly, she talked about her parents! Every moment of abuse neglect, and exploitation!

With each revelation Tyrone reeled! He was speechless! He was mortified!

The only coherent thought in his head was his condescending conscience:

_**Bravo boy. Oh, bravo.**_

_**Well, you got what you wanted.**_

_**You wanted to be nothing like Dipper**_

_**And last I checked he'd never exploit a mentally broken girl.**_

_**So you got what you wanted...You are now your own person.**_

_**Was it worth it?**_

Tyrone was silent for awhile...then. _No, it wasn't._

Tyrone watched as the girl continued to weep. Not having the slightest idea how to fix this...If it could be fixed.

Suddenly he got an idea. It was a long shot...but it was all he had. He rummaged through his clothes to find a flashlight.

"Pacifica! I'm no monster! Last I checked, monsters don't look like this!" He exclaims as he illuminates a certain part of himself.

Pacifica looks up and sees Tyrone's comically, impossibly tiny genitals.

And for the first time in weeks Pacifica smiled...and laughed!

Tyrone smiled. Surprisingly, he didn't feel the least bit embarrassed! Seeing her happy was just that wonderful!

He waits for her to settle down. Then sits beside her to comfort her. He tells her the whole story. Dipper coming to Gravity Falls, the Smiley-Dip, Moria, **Why** he did what he did to Robbie, and how **He** came to be standing before her.

Pacifica was amazed at the story she was just told. "Wow...That Wendy is such a lucky girl...I wish I had someone willing to do that for me." She admitted sadly.

Tyrone said nothing for a minute..."Who says you can't?"

Pacifica felt herself go pink. "R-really?" She asked in a cautious(yet hopeful) way.

Tyrone also flustered. "Y...yeah- I mean- Well why not? Just ask me what I can do to make this better and I'll do it!"

Pacifica didn't need to think long. There's only one thing she wanted...only one thing she's ever wanted...ever since she was little...

"Kill my parents." she said in a disturbingly tranquil manner.

Tyrone blanched...but nodded...

…...

It really hadn't been that hard. He made a deal with the ghost.

He would kill her parents in a public way that would appear to all as a freak accident; in exchange, Pacifica would allow the good people of gravity falls into the party.

Tyrone was surprised when Pacifica added on that after the party he would burn the mansion down.

"Why would you want to destroy your home?"

Pacifica glared at him darkly. "This place was never my home."

Tyrone wisely decided to drop the subject...

…...

The ghost was more than happy to postpone his eternal rest to gleefully burn the mansion that was built on suffering and broken promises.

Hand-in-hand. Tyrone and Pacifica watched it burn.

"You feeling better?" Tyrone asked.

Pacifica thought about it for a bit than nodded.

Tyrone nodded back. They were quiet for a bit, then...

"You know...we have an extra bed at the Mystery Shack-"

"Sounds good." Interrupted Pacifica flatly.

Smiling Tyrone turned to lead her to his house. Suddenly he was hugged from behind. Although that wasn't what caught his attention so much as where he was grabbed. Tyrone flustered, especially when Pacifica leaned in to whisper.

"I saw another barn up the road." Dipper fluster got brighter.

"P-pacifica are you sure?"

She smiled. "It's okay...you've more than earned it..."

…...

As the ghost ascended he saw the children run into the same barn where he'd deflowered many a maiden as a boy. He gave a hearty laugh. "Ah, to be young and restless! Those were the days!-"

…...

As it turns out Mabel was one of the many who flooded the party. She also saw Tyrone converse with the ghost and let it burn the house to the ground.

She quickly ran home to tell Dipper. Needless to say he wasn't happy when Tyrone and Pacifica finally showed up.

"What the balls man!? Why'd you help that ghost torch the place!? And what's she doing here!?"

Tyrone stole a glance at Pacifica. Who suddenly looked very uncomfortable.

She really didn't want people to know about what happened between her and her parents.

Which Tyrone wasn't going to push. He turned back to Dipper.

"She's going to be staying with us for now. And that's all you need to know."

"Like balls it is!" Snapped Dipper. "I order you to-"

"Order me!? Who are you to order anything!" Tyrone sighed. "Look Dipper, you have a lot of good qualities, that I'd have to be a fool not to emulate. And I really am proud to be your clone."

He then glares at Dipper sharply. "But here's the thing: I'm not a disposable clone anymore! For better or for worse I'm a real person! My own person! I'm not your toy! I'm not your servant! I'm not your slave! I'm me! I'm Tyrone!"

Dipper looked at him in shock...then shame.

"Wow...Your right...I guess I have been taking you for granted...I'm really sorry man. I didn't-"

Then he remembered why he'd been mad in the first place.

-Hey wait a minute! You helped a homicidal ghost burn a house down! I have every right to demand answers! Especially, if your going to keep living here! In fact give me one reason why I shouldn't throw you out now!

Tyrone sighed. "You'd have done the same for Wendy." Said Tyrone stubbornly as he gestured to pacifica.

Dippers face softened in understanding.

He sighed. "Alright, let's see if we can't get you a place to sleep..."

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	17. Chapter 17

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.17

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…_..._

Dipper and Wendy relaxed by the pool. Things had been going great for them!

Tambry(still feeling bad about everything) used her knowledge of social media to paint Wendy in a better light.

She also highlighted all of Dipper's exploits, how far he's willing to go to help Wendy and their child(while making sure to do it in a way that won't get him arrested).

Thus their reputation in town had gone up.

Dipper meanwhile had made more than enough money to keep them steady for a long time.

However, due to a year-long contract he still did have to work(which was fine since nowadays he had the clones do most of the work).

He watched as Pacifica enticed Tyrone into the nearby storage shed.

Pacifica wouldn't get any of her inheritance until she was 18. So she lived with them...Much to Tyrone's "pleasure."

Dipper was actually kinda jealous of that. Although he and Wendy had "something" going...they hadn't done anything as intimate as what their doing...not that he'd ever force Wendy to do anything she was uncomfortable with...Still it made things awkward around the house...How is it possible to be that loud!?

All and all things were going well for him...Which according to movies usually meant that a catastrophe was about to happen.

"PSST!" Whispered Mabel to Dipper. "Hey, bro...dose your Journal have any advice on getting a mermaid boyfriend unclogged from the sewer?...Also how to stop said sewer from exploding?"

Right on que the ground began to shake...

Dipper groaned. "I'm on it."

…...MEANWHILE...

Gideon cackled as he flipped the pages of his journal to one consisting of a certain Triangle Demon...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	18. Chapter 18

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.18

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…_..._

Dipper groused; how could this had happened?...Who was he kidding? Of course he knew how it happened! They'd severely underestimated Gideon, that's what happened!

That sociopath came at them with a two pronged assault! An army of spectral horseman at the front, while Bill invaded Stan's mind!

It had been a pitched battle, but they'd pulled through...Or so they'd thought.

Turns out both attacks were a diversion; to allow Gideon to sneak into the shack and steal the Deed...Which as it turns out is a legal way to acquire a deed in gravity falls(stupid Trembly). So there wasn't anything they could do about it, the shack was now Gideon's.

Which is how they found themselves sleeping at a gas station at night.

Dipper turned to everyone. "Alright gang...I know your down about this. But this really isn't that bad. I've gathered more money then I could spend in five lifetimes!"

Everyone perked up at this...Except Stan Who'd now turned a bit pale.

Dipper turned to Stan. "Okay Grunkle Stan, which bank did you deposit my money in?"

Stan chuckled nervously. "Right...Listen...about that..."

Dipper glared at him. "What did you do?"

"-Look kid, Banks are for suckers! You-"

"What. Did. You. Do?" Emphasized both Dipper and Wendy.

"Relax! I put it all the same place I keep my life savings!...in my mattress...Which is at the shack." He mumbles that last part Miserably.

No one said anything for a minute dipper gave a resigned sigh.

"Grunkle Stan, despite everything; you have been great to me, Mabel and Wendy. Throughout this whole thing and even before that-"

Stan gave a sigh of relief.

"-Which is why I'm giving you a five minute head start." Finished Dipper.

…...

And what happened then? Well in Gravity falls they say. That Grunkle Stans blood decreased 5 times that day...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**The "Spectral Horseman" were a suggestion from ****spiderwilliam13**

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	19. Chapter 19

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.19

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…_..._

Dipper thought over there situation...things were not great.

They didn't have the shack, they didn't have any money, the photocopier was still at the shack(so no more clones), the reservoir broke open and flooded the mines(which made them too dangerous even by Varrick's standards, so he was out of a job with no pay until further notice.), and now they had to live at Soos's Abuelita's house.

Wendy offered to let them stay at her place, but Dipper refused. Wendy had enough problems without them being a burden on her!

"-This is not good. I cannot feed such a big family." Admitted Abuelita sadly.

"Where are we gonna stay, Dipper?" Asked Mabel. "Where am I gonna put all my sweaters?"

"What's Stan gonna tell Mom and Dad?" Wonders Dipper out loud.

"Yeah, what is he going to tell them?" Says Tyrone suddenly. "More importantly how are we going to explain **Me **to my mom and dad!" He frowns at that last statement.

"Your Mom and Dad?..._Our _Mom and dad?...The Mom and Dad?...The mom and Dad that were originally just yours but then I sorta inherited- GAH! Whatever! You know what I mean! Seriously! What happens to me!?"

"And what happens to me?" Asks Pacifica.

"How on earth am I going to explain Wendy!?" Realized a horrified Dipper.

"Mr. Pines will figure something out. He always does." Insists Soos.

Meanwhile, Stan listens to their conversation. _Man, what a mess. _Thought Stan.

Now in another universe Stan would at this time be considering just sending the twins home...But in this instant that really wasn't an option.

Putting aside the fact that he had no idea what to do with Tyrone or Pacifica...He knew that convincing Dipper to leave Wendy was just not going to happen...how on earth was he going to explain this minefield to their parents?

As if hearing his aches, the parents choose that moment to call...

…...

-Don't worry, your son and daughter are fine.

-Where're we staying?...Uh, I put 'em up in this amazing four star hotel!

-What, uh, sure we got— _(Shakes a near empty gallon of milk)_ —plenty to eat.

-Wha? Where did you hear that?

-Listen, you really shouldn't listen to what people put on the internet, what is the internet anyway? I mean really?

-Yeah, I'm old. What about it?

-Am I saying it's not true?...Well, yes and no...Except not no. So yeah.

(Stan yanks the phone away from his ear as the yelling begins)

…...

"-No, I don't care how frustrated you two are. I'm not renting an apartment just so the two of you can have "alone time"! And just call it sex! We all know what you mean!" Snaps Dipper at Tyrone and Pacifica.

"-You can love each other here, I no mind." Says Abuelita suddenly. Everyone gives her a creeped out look.

When Stan called for Dipper, he couldn't run to the kitchen fast enough.

When Stan gave him the phone...Suddenly the awkwardness didn't seem so bad...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Okay, would anyone be willing to post this story(or maybe another story) on "Television Tropes and Idioms. com"? I'd appreciate it!**

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	20. Chapter 20

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.20

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

**AN: After watching the sdcc trailer I'd like to make a prediction. The gnomes might capture Pacifica. And for some reason Grenda, Candy, and Wendy break in to save her.**

**Knowing Alex(bless his imaginative heart) he's probably going to troll us mercilessly(specifically anything involving Wendip, or dipifica), probably going to zigzag every relationship trope he can squeeze into the episode.**

**Despite everything I still have a good gut feeling about Wendip...But really at this point it could be anyone's game...Shot, I wouldn't put it past Alex to pair Dipper up with the Multi-bear just to mess with us!**

**Any Thoughts? Agree? Disagree? Why? **

…_..._

**For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."**

This long-forgotten verse went through Dipper's head as he walked up to Wendy's house...It had been a long night-

"Dipper! Wait!" Dipper turned around as an out of breath Mabel caught up with him.

"Here- (pant) -Dipper, take this with you." Dipper's eye's widened as he saw what Mabel handed to him...

…...

Wendy frowned at the front page article that announced Gideon's "acquisition" of the Mystery Shack.

She smiled when Dipper came into the room. "Hey Dipper! How are you!?"

Dipper suddenly looked very uncomfortable. "Uh...Wendy...We need to talk."

"Hey boys! I think we should make sure the logs are properly stored!" Shouted Manly Dan suddenly.

Wendy's brothers looked at him confused. "But Pa, didn't we do that yester-"

JUST DO IT, BOY! Snapped Dan as he pushes them out of the room.

Wendy looked at Dipper warily. "Dipper, what's going on?" She asked nervously.

Dipper sighed. "My parents stumbled upon Tambry's blog...they found out everything"

Wendy paled. "Uh...I'm guessing they didn't take it well?"

Dipper groaned. "That's putting it mildly...we argued until the sun came up!...It was horrible."

Wendy gave him a sympathetic hug. The familiar smell and warmth almost brought a smile to his face.

After a long tense silence- "So what happens now?"

Dipper sighed. "I'll spare you the grisly details...But at the end of it they told me either I leave you...or I'm out of the family."

Wendy felt her whole body slump...she could feel tears building up in her eye's-

_No, you have to be strong. If not for yourself then at least for dipper, Glob knows this is difficult enough for him already!_

Wendy chocked back her tears, took a deep breath and turned back to Dipper.

"Okay...I understand...Their your parents...I'm just some girl you've known for a month...But it was grea-"

"-Wendy I choose you." Interrupted Dipper.

Wendy's mind shut down. "What?" She asked dumbly.

Dipper shuffled uncomfortably. "Right...And while I'm on a 'roll'".

He quickly gets down on bended knee and pulls out a ring.

"Wendy Corduroy, will you...I guess hold on to this ring until I'm the legal age to marry you?"

Wendy did the only thing she could do: WHAT!? She shouted again uncomprehendingly...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	21. Chapter 21

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.21

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

**I shall now impart how I decide shipping.**

**What I do is ask myself the following questions.**

**FIRST: Do I like the main character?: Yes Dipper is a deep, relatable character who is put through so much crap and gets so little respect you can't help but root for him...and latter reward him in your fanfics.**

**SECOND: is there someone the main character already likes?: (honestly after all the crap he goes through why shouldn't he get the girl he wants?)**

**Yes, in cannon. Wendy is the first girl we see him crushing on, and he actually says that he wants her.(and what my Man Dipper wants, he'll get!)**

**THIRD: Is the girl he likes a good person?(EX: Danny likes Paulina, but Paulina is a jerk with no redeemable qualities and has no real character depth so I wouldn't pair him with her) Yes Wendy is a good person. She didn't humiliate Dipper when he used the Lamby dance to save her, she tried to help Mabel with her relationship problems, she let Dipper down easily(a first in any cartoon I've seen!) Also her character has depth: She defied usual cartoon convention and was still mad and hurt after a break up!(Again! A cartoon first!) Also, she reveals her laid-back attitude is just a facade to deal with her testosterone overdosed family.**

**And that's my shipping system...alright Flame away!**

…**...**

All was silent...the two awkward adolescents just looked at each other...neither knew what more they could say...what could they say?

…...

_Oh, man. Oh, man. I really did it! _Thought a now very sweaty and panicky Dipper, who was still holding out the ring Mabel kept from the gnomes, while ignoring the cramp he was getting for staying on bended knee so long...

Regardless of what Wendy said now; Dipper had already resolved to not leave the woman he loved or their unborn child. He refused to be some deadbeat dad!

His child would know that he loved him! Besides, how could he ever leave Wendy? She was the only person(aside from his sister) to understand him!...which was kinda sad considering he'd only known her for about a month...But regardless, he'd stand by her!

…...

Wendy looked deep into Dippers eyes and could tell he was just as anxious and scared as she was! She knew whatever she did next would dramatically effect both their lives.

She looked deep within herself...Dipper was the best friend she ever had...the most descent guy too...She genuinely felt like she could handle the baby and anything else when he was with her...But the age gap! That wasn't just something you could conveniently ignore! It was a major cultural taboo! Not to mention it just made her very uncomfortable!...On the other hand this kid has wrestled a big jerk, a giant dragon, a Giant eel, and Super Clone Hitler for her!...not to mention that whole incident with those (shudder) "Rainbow squirt" scouts!...they fought over her body!

Wendy looked at this boy...this amazing boy that had done so much for her and asked almost nothing in return...

Wendy sighed. _Frak it, that Bill guy is probably going to blow the earth to pieces before the end of summer anyway- _Thought Wendy as she snatched up the ring.

…...

"-Pa, I thought you said that if ever a guy tried to marry Wendy we needed to make him prove his 'worth'."

Asked the boy as he, his brothers, and father spied on everything through a peephole. His father chuckled. "Son, this boy just split from his family to be apart of ours...if that ain't "worthy"...Then worthy can eat it!

…...

Dipper had to bite his lip to keep from squealing in delight. She said yes! She took the ring, and said yes! And...was now dragging him to her room?

"Uh, Wendy what are we-" "I figure if were going to do this we might as well go all the way-" Admits Wendy as she continues to use the image of the apocalypse to keep her resolve like iron. Dipper meanwhile...had completely shut-down...

…...

Manly Dan shed the first tear in his life...it hit his son and gave him a crop of masculine hair sprouting up all over his body.

_He is the father of my first grandchild, and the best thing to ever happen to Wendy_

_He is the father of my first grandchild, and the best thing to ever happen to Wendy_

Manly Dan repeats this mantra as he orders his boys to chain him up while he fights the urge to rip Dipper to pieces...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**The ring coming from the gnomes was an idea from "keeper of worlds"**

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	22. Chapter 22

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.22

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

**I suppose your all wondering why I'm still optimistic about Wendip.**

**Well first and foremost Alex has told us at every turn that the show is what he wished his ideal summer vacation was. **

**He has also stated that Wendy is based on a girl he had a crush on back then.**

**Now correct me if I'm wrong but what kinda ideal fantasy summer would it be if you didn't get the girl your crushing on?**

**Another is that despite being "out of focus" more than any of the other characters, she's still in the opening credits with the other main characters(so even if it's not a romantic interest she's still going to have some importance latter on)...unless of course Alex is just trolling us...Still I choose to be optimistic about that until proven otherwise.**

**I also propose a counter theory to "the shapeshifter is Ice not Wendy" theory.**

**Perhaps he WAS ice...But then he got defeated by Wendy...just something to think about, all I'm saying...**

**Also I don't care what people say; there's no way they just threw in the whole "Little Wendy thinks Dipper is cute" thing as a throw-away gag! Especially not in a series that has time-travel!**

**Also(And this could be just a rumor, so feel free to correct me) Alex has a girlfriend who he meet at a gravity falls party...Who likes to cosplay Wendy! If that dosen't give me a good feeling about Wendip I don't know what will!**

**One final thought: Let it not be said I'm not flexible. Like many people after "Northwest Mansion Noir"(before which I'd just had it labeled as a crack pairing) I began to see "Dipifica" as a viable(secondary) pairing.**

**What do you think? Agree? Disagree? **

…**...**

A grand crowd had arrived at the mystery shack to hear little Gideon's announcement.

"-Gideon is the psychic-est. He guessed the secret ingredient to my coffee omelette!"

"- Somehow he knew about my horrifying secret birthmark!"

The crowd was getting antsy. So Buddy Gleeful finally introduced Gideon.

"Hello, Gravity Falls!" Shouts Gideon. He then walks over to a model displaying his new attraction.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Today I am delighted to announce my plans for the former Mystery Shack. I give you... Gideonland! We're gonna turn this dirty ol' shack into three square miles of Gideon-tertainment!"

**BWOOM!**

Everyone covered their ears as the air horn screeched.

They all turned around and saw Dipper refreshed and relaxed after a long night with the woman he loved taking his earplugs out.

"Sorry about that everyone, I didn't know what else to do to get your attention." Confessed Dipper as he walked through the crowd and up to the stage.

Gideon smirked. "Let me guess boy, you come to take your shack back?"

Dipper forced a smile. "Why would I do that? You won this place fair and square."

This threw Gideon completely! He hadn't expected that!

Dipper continued to force his smile. He'd miss the shack...But they needed the money more!

But here's the thing. When you "legally" acquired the shack my Grunkle Stan accidentally left his life savings and my money from the mine here; and we'd appreciate it if you'd let us have it back."

Dipper waited with bated breath as he waited for Gideon's reply. He knew he was taking a huge risk here. But he'd look this over from every angle and this was their best hope!

Going through proper legal channels was out. Although his reputation had greatly increased in the eyes of the town...It still paled in comparison with Gideon. The law and the people would do whatever he asked.

Stealing it was far too risky, if he was caught with it the money would be lost to them forever!

And even if he did get away with it, the town charter(honestly Trembly what were you thinking!?) allowed Gideon to search properties of people he suspected had stolen from him and confiscate them if the suspicion is proven true...and he could never do that to Soos...

And killing Gideon...He didn't even want to consider that!...not if he didn't have a choice anyway...besides his family would probably be the prime suspects...

Finally Gideon laughed! "And why exactly would I do that? The instant the deed entered my hand everything on this property became mine!"

Just as practiced, Dipper let out a hearty laugh. "Good one Gideon! As if a beloved town icon would ever withhold the funds needed to keep a pregnant teenager from suffering and her unborn child from starving! Especially with all your adoring fans watching!"

Gideon paled and cursed under his breath. The boy was right! He couldn't afford to lose his carefully crafted reputation! Not at this delicate stage!

Seeing all the eyes on him, he did the only thing he could do-

"HA! Right! As if!" Exclaimed Gideon through gritted teeth.

Dipper nodded. Then turned to Blubs and Durland. "Hey guys, the life savings are pretty huge; would you help us carry it out!?" They gleefully volunteered before Gideon could say anything.

Dipper again nodded. _So far so good. _Thought Dipper as he lead them inside. With two policemen around Gideon wouldn't dare to pull a fast one when he reveals where it's hidden.

Still...Dipper refused to relax until the money was safely off the property.

They had just moved the mattress onto the front porch-

"Hold it!" Shouts Gideon. Dipper sighs. _Of course-_

He turns to Gideon. "What is it Gideon?"

Gideon smirks triumphantly. "While that mattress is on my property, I still get to decide what happens to it!"

He then points to the gathered people. "And I demand that all of Stan's money- The money that he has long swindled from the good people of gravity falls be returned to them!"

Dipper felt an unbelievable urge to lash out- But he quickly calmed himself down. Losing his cool here would only play into Gideon's hands.

"You know what? That's fine. We'll split the mattress 50/50. The townspeople get half and can divide it amongst themselves." It was annoying but that would still be more than enough for him and Wendy to live comfortably.

But Gideon just shook his head. Oh, no my dear boy! I wouldn't dream of forcing you to spend a cent of your hard earned money! Stan is the only one who should have to suffer for his crimes!"

Dipper continued to keep his smile on. He didn't know what Gideon was up to but he knew he needed to leave fast!

"No, really. It's fine. This'll be more than enough for us to live on!"

Gideon again shook his head. "Sorry, but I must insist. In fact I call on local city ordinance 667: until all of Stan's money(and only Stan's money) is accounted for all the assets in this mattress are to be frozen until gravity falls Obstructive Bureaucracy High council settles this!"

Dipper paled. The Obstructive Bureaucracy Council(who names their council that? Honestly!) was infamous for their indecision! They were still debating whether phasing out horse drawn carriages for these 'New fangled city-slicker horseless carriages' should be debated for crying out loud!

They'd never see the money again and Gideon would be passing the buck and therefore be blameless for the whole thing! At worst he'd be the naïve boy who trusted the wrong adults!

Dipper glares at Gideon. "Could I talk to you in private?"

Gideon smugly smirks. "Of course, friend!" They walk to the other side of the stage to whisper.

"Why are you doing this!? You already have the shack! You've won! You won't get the money either if you do this! How do you possibly benefit from this!?"

Gideon pretends to think about this. "It's quite simple my boy...I hate you, and your whore and bastard can eat cow shit and die for all I care!"

Dipper takes a long, deep, cleansing breath. So that's how it has to be? He asks in a surprisingly resigned tranquil manner.

Gideon smugly nods-

**CRACK!**

Gideon nurses his broken nose as the officers rush up to arrest Dipper.

Dipper turns to them. "Relax officers; if you'll just look up city ordinance 665 you'll see that what I just did was perfectly legal."

Blubs gave him a skeptical look, but complied.

"Well I'll be! Your right!" He leans in for a closer look. "It shall be ordained here that a punch to the nose is a perfectly legal way to-" Blubs turned deathly pale.

**-INSTIGATE A FIGHT TO THE DEATH!?**

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	23. Chapter 23

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.23

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

"-I'm going to give you one last chance to back down boy." Says Gideon with a smirk. "Your rash actions can be easily forgiven...sorta thing is completely understandable when there isn't a **man **of the house around." Ribbs Gideon smugly.

Dipper ignores the bait. "For your information there is a man of the house, me."

Gideon bursts out laughing. "Must be a small house, then!" He mocks.

Dipper groans. "Look we both know this is going to happen, can we just get on with this?"

Gideon shrugged. "Your funeral." _Which I will take great pleasure in desecrating!_

Nearby, sheriff Blubs(as the closest highest ranking official) was required by law to preside over this...at first he was horrified...but once the shock wore off he realized "W_ait, what am I worried about? Their just a couple of kids! Like they'd really try to kill each other. _

So in his mind he was humoring what would probably be just a little schoolyard scuffle...a sentiment that seemed to be shared by everyone watching.

Blubs walked over to the kids. "Right, the rules are simple: you each can pick one weapon that's within reach or eyesight, and the one who 'kills' the other first wins it all!" He points to the bucket where Dipper had put the few meager possessions he had on him(not the journal though, that he left home), and where Gideon had put the deed and other things.

Both kids nodded in understanding. Blubs smiled as he points the starting pistol up in the air. "Alright, ready, set, go." BANG!

Blubs turned to Durland. "Right, so I figure we let them rough it out for an hour or so until they tire out, and then just call it a draw-"

**CLANG!**

All the people watching simultaneously turned deathly pale. The giant Gideon statue had come to life! Gideon laughed triumphantly as he ran inside it and made it march toward Dipper.

Blubs was sweating bullets! _Oh my Glob! This is really going to happen! _

_Dipper's about to die!_ _A little kid is about to die on my watch!_

While Blubs slowly made his way to his squad car to make the long trip to Mexico; Gideon raises the robots foot over Dipper.

Gideon cackled maniacally. He smugly glares down at Dipper. "Any last words Dipper?"

**ZAP!**

"Yeah, you talk to much!" Shouted Dipper down to the now miniscule Gideon-bot.

Gideon paled...then chuckled nervously. "Now...come on Dipper, let's not do anything rash...If we talk this out like civilized gentleman; I'm sure we could work something out that could benefit both of-

**SQUISH!**

Dipper grinded the now flattened pest into the dirt. He then scraps the mess off his shoe and feeds it to Gomper. Without another word he snatches up the bucket and walks away from the now traumatized crowd...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	24. Chapter 24

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.24

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

As it turned out Gideon was a smugger SOB then they thought! He'd been so confident that he'd win he put everything he had into the hat! Not just the deed to the shack, but the Gleeful family bank account numbers, the deed to the Tent of Telepathy, the deed to his actual house, and Journal # 2!

Grunkle Stan, seeing Dipper get excited over the Journal felt it was the perfect time to tell Dipper of a special town ordinance he'd just discovered...

…...

_Thank you Trembly! _Thought Dipper happily as he and Wendy(by the power invested by the "Save a Damsel, get a bride" Ordinance.") got married.

"Hit it HOGG!" Shouts May May as Waddles turns on the stereo-

**(music starts)**

**1, 2, 3, 4!**

**Hey Hey Oh...**  
**Hey Hey Oh...**

Dipper and Wendy smash cake in each others faces...which of course leads to a massive cake fight...

**It's you and me moving  
At the speed of light into eternity yer,  
Tonight is the night to join me in the middle of ecstasy.**

Wendy tosses the bouquet...Mabel's hostile glares are quick to deter any competition...

**Feel the melody in the rhythm of the music around you, around you  
I'm gonna take you there, I'm gonna take you there**

"-So just jump up your own but and die! I'm sticking by my dipping sauce and his main squeeze!" Shouted a surly and intoxicated(by Smiley-Dip) Mabel as she screams at her parents over the phone...

**So don't be scared  
I'm right here baby**

Dipper and Wendy comfort Mabel after she sobers up and remembers what she's done...

**We can go anywhere, go anywhere  
But first it's your chance,  
Take my hand come with me**

Stan sees all this...and remembers when he was kicked out of his own family...coming to a decision he grabs journal # 1 and shows it to the twins...

**It's like I've waited my whole life for this one night  
It's gonna be me you and the dance floor  
'cause we've only got one night  
Double your pleasure**

Pacifica giggles as after all these days she and Tyrone are finally 'alone' again...

**Double your fun and dance  
Forever (ever, ever)  
Forever (ever, ever)  
Forever (ever, ever)  
Forever girl forever  
Forever (ever, ever)  
Forever (ever, ever)  
Forever (ever, ever)  
Forever on the dance floor**

Buddy Gleeful sighs as he puts a gun to his temple. ZAP! Suddenly feeling a lot better; he picks up his bags and gets on the last bus out of Gravity Falls...

**Feels like we're on another level  
Feels like our loves intertwined,  
We can be two rebels breaking the rules**

Dipper is amazed at the sight of the portal. Stan shows them a picture of him and his brother as kids. Dipper and Mable nod and give Stan a hug...

**me and you, you and I  
All you got to do is watch me  
Look what I can do with my feet  
Baby feel the beat inside.**

Pacifica frowns as for the fifth morning in a row she gets sick and has to run to the bathroom...

**I'm driving you can take the front seat  
Just need you to trust me  
Oh ah oh  
It's like!**

A saddened Nate and Lee(and a more joyful Thompson) walk up to the shack for a long talk with Wendy...

**It's a long way down,**  
**We're so high off the ground,**  
**Sending for an angel to bring me your heart**  
**Girl, where did you come from?**

Gomper groans as his stomach continues to trouble him...

**Got me so undone,  
Gazing in your eyes got me singing what a beautiful lady  
No "if"s, "and"s or "maybe"s  
I'm releasing my heart and it's feeling amazing  
There's no one else that matters  
**

Stan helps Mrs. Gleeful out of the car and up the steps of the asylum to finally get her the help she needs.

_Goodbye Carla..._

**you love me and I won't let you fall girl  
Let you fall girl oh  
Ah ah ye yer  
I won't let you fall, let you fall  
Let you fall oh oh  
Yer yer  
Yer yer  
It's Like!**

**Oh ah ah ah ah ah**  
**Yer**  
**Forever (ever, ever, ever)**  
**Forever ever ah.**

Dipper and Wendy watch the sunset together...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	25. Chapter 25

Mabel! No more Smiley Dip! ch.25

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

"-Man, what's the point!? All the good stuffs already been looted!" Shouted Larry as he scrounged through the remains of the Northwest Manor.

**SMACK!**

**OW!**

Cried Larry in pain as his 'leader' Moe once more poked out his eyes.

"You want a point? The point is if you don't rummage us up something for us to buy food, well cook you Chowderhead!"

Shouts Moe, right before he kicks Curly. "And quite your lounging about! Double time!"

"Ah, I'm sorry Moe! I'm a victim of circumstance!" Shouted Curly as he continued to dig-

**CRACK!**

Curly frowns as he reaches down and picks up the a piece of what his shovel just shattered and looks at it.

_Peanut brittle? _Thinks Curly confused. Before he shrugs and eats it. He then eats more fragments, he then uses his shovel to further crack open the large chunk of peanut brittle-

**GAH!**

Screamed a man who bursts from the ground and grabs Curly by the throat and yanks him off the ground.

"You! Pheasant! What year is it!? And what happened to my house!? Mark my words someone will pay for this!" Screams Nathaniel Northwest...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**This will be continued in a sequel, ideas of what to do now will be appreciated!**

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	26. ANNOUNCEMENT!

**ATTENTION!**

"To All who read this...I'm going on HIATUS!

"I know, I know. I hate it when Authors do this too.

"But I plan on being a REAL writer; and I need to focus on that.

**FIRE SALE!**

**EVERYTHING MUST GO!**

"If you want to adopt my story to continue it; go ahead!

"If more then one person wants to adopt the same story; go ahead!(this includes the one's already labeled 'adopted')

**NEW YEAR!**

"Let me be clear; this Hiatus(if I don't become an Author) will only last a year...I really do want to finish my fanfic stories(But if you don't want to wait, feel free to adopt)

**EXCEPTIONS**

"I intend to finish the last chapter of my Christian themed story 'What we gonna do'; I might also occasionally post some Christian Song-fic's.

"From Now on if the conversation thread isn't labeled 'Adopt' or 'Review Glitch'(My computer still won't let new reviews through, I need help!)"I'm going to have to ignore it(sorry)

**COMMITMENTS**

"Say what you will about me; I'm a man of my word.

"I've promised several Authors that I'd help them with their stories.

"Here they are: The Howling Behemoth, StoriesUnleashed, Brandon Vortex, SPIDERWILLIAM13, Animeshowlover, And...Shot...Okay I can't remember his/her name; but he/she adopted Tremor Falls...so you know who you are...I hope.

"Anyway; Because of my promise. I will still respond to messages from the guys/girls listed above

As for 'Zues Killer Productions'...(sigh)

"Okay, here's the thing...I promised to adopt his/her story...But right after that I remembered- "Dang it, I'm going on Hiatus in a couple months, what is wrong with me?"

"But poorly thought out and misremembered it may have been...for better or for worse I made a commitment and I'm going to stick with it.

"After all; why should he/she suffer because of my poor memory?(I'll still take messages from him/her as well)

"Let's be clear; I'm not going nuts on this...they'll be only one chapter every two weeks(at least)

**"NAME CHANGE**

"In one week; I'm changing my User name(I wanted this name first...but I forgot it(sheepish smile))

"Say goodbye to "du911"...and hello to "The Cowardly Christian".

"Well...that's it...bye...


	27. HIATUS IS OVER!

**HELLO FAITHFUL READERS!**

As you know...New Years is here...which mean my year long hiatus from fanfiction will be over!

But here's the thing...this year I'm doing something different:

Although I'll be writing fanfiction again; it'll be more sporadic(I'm still giving priority to my REAL story). The stories I focus on will be sorta random...however. I'll be making challenge; to the people who participate in my 'Shake up the Falls' Story challenge.

Ex: If you were to to publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the falls' challenge before anyone else...I would let you pick the first three stories I would be continuing(if you wanted me to continue my 'Gamer of the Year' Story plus two others, I'd do that before anything else)

The details of my 'Shake up the Falls' story idea can be found on my profile.

P.S. Just to clarify; this is a CONTINUOUS arrangement, I'll be continuing stories in the order that a person finishes my challenge, this challenge won't stop after the first person dose it...it'll continue on after that...I'll also be publishing/updating an going on my own time table in the meantime

P.S.S. Reminder; all my stories are still up for adoption!(I'm not abandoning any...I'm simply giving you more options, if you think I'm going too slow). Multiple adoptions for a single story are still allowed!

Hope you had a merry Christmas...and that you have a Happy New Year!


End file.
